stepmom and mom

Our Blended Family Beginnings: Becoming Stepmom and Mom

As Jenny and I move forward in combining our two sites, and as our family prepares for the arrival of baby Emmilyn, I thought that it was the perfect time to post Jenny’s thoughts on becoming a stepmom and mom for the very first time. It’s fun to look back and see how our family has bonded together over the last three years!

As I get closer and closer to having Addison officially join our family and I go through the process of nesting and preparing for her arrival, I can’t help but feel nostalgic for the days when I was going through a similar process getting ready to become a stepmom to Mackenzie and Brooklyn.

I moved into the apartment our little family would be sharing about 2 months before our wedding, and Jed and I started the process of preparing a special room for the girls.  We looked for the perfect beds.  I spent hours (and hours…and hours) shopping for the perfect comforters.  We began moving some of the girl’s clothing and toys to our new home….and I went shopping some more for some new goodies to add to the mix = )  I made pictures to hang on the walls and decoupaged cute paper onto crafty letters of their first initial.  I made a little slideshow of pictures of the girls and the time we had spent together while I was dating their dad. We even took family pictures before we were married so we could hang up pictures of our family in our new home!

mom and stepmom

I remember that when the room was coming together, I would watch my little video and cry.  Every time I watched it.  There were no doctors visits.  No baby showers.  No little person kicking me from the inside to remind me she was coming.  But none-the-less I was becoming a mom.  I was dreaming about the life I would share with these two wonderful little people.  I was so excited that we would be a family.  And I was terrified that I would mess it up.  That they wouldn’t like being part of my family.

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And I do mess it up, as it turns out.  And our life together isn’t always the picture of perfection that I envisioned when I sat in their room dreaming about our future together.  But I have a feeling that I am currently romanticizing 2 am feedings and screaming babies.  Such is life.  But we are happy and thriving as a family.  We continue to bond and strengthen our relationship every day.  We have our hiccups along the way, but I have been amazed by the girls’ acceptance of our new family.

What did you do to get ready to become a step-parent? I would love to hear your story and look forward to continuing the conversation in the comments below!

Jed Jurchenko

Jed Jurchenko is the husband to an incredible wife, daddy to four amazing girls, and a foster dad to one more. He's served as a children's pastor, marriage and family therapist, psychology professor, award-winning writing coach, and life coach. Jed is the author of 23 books on relationships, parenting, writing, and doing life well. In his free time, you'll find Jed reading, preparing for an upcoming marathon, barbecuing, paddle boarding, and enjoying life with his incredible family. Find out more about Jed's books, coaching, and courses at www.ithrive320.com.

35 thoughts on “Our Blended Family Beginnings: Becoming Stepmom and Mom”

  1. Hello, Jen & Jed~ It was such a blessing to see your kind comment at my blog this morning, so I came over to check out yours! What a sweet story and portrait of God’s amazing grace and how He orchestrates the details of our lives! I loved reading your perspectives, Jen, and I am sure this journey has been such an adventure for you. I will definitely start following your blog now and so happy to meet you both! I look forward to many future visits together, both here and over at Homespun Devotions! Thanks ever so much for stopping by!

  2. I’m not a stepmom and actually have no contact with one! That sounds weird. But nobody in my family or my friends are stepmoms. So this post was something new to me! It’s good to be aware of situations not native to your own. So thanks for posting this and allowing me to see a little bit into the life of a stepmom! Have a wonderful day!

  3. I appreciate the inside look and perspective you had as you prepared to be a mom for the first time. I went through infertility for many years. I never expected that becoming a mom would be different than how I had envisioned it. But I love how you shared honestly about the coming to terms with becoming a mom but not having doctor appointments and baby showers. And yet we wouldn’t trade the road we are on for anything because it brought us right where we are supposed to be. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  4. I’m not a stepmom, but I was raised by a few. Yes, a few. The one woman who became my step-mom, today is still very close to me. I remember many times throughout my life of her being there. Just being there. She never tried to replace my mother, yet she had her own way of parenting me when necessary. I can remember during a very rough period in my life, her sharing her life before my dad and that was a breaking point for me. It isn’t easy at times and honestly, as a child of a blended family, we know how to play our parents when needed. You probably will mess up, step-parent or biological parent, because as parents – we ALL mess up. Love your heart Jen!

  5. It’s always encouraging to hear stories like this, where love wins. We hear too many negative stories about step-families, so your lives are witnesses that God can bond us together in many different ways. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Lisa that is so true. I was very discouraged when Jed and I first got engaged. There are a lot of resources for stepparents that include bio-mom-bashing, and downright negative, depressing views of what stepparenting life entails. I have since found some great resources, and we have definately learned that this blended family life can be absolutely beautiful!

  6. This is beautiful! I am so thrilled to read about a stepmom in a positive light! Although I know it was most likely a difficult transition…becoming a mom always is!! And the wedding photo is wonderful!!!

  7. This is great! There are so many different journeys women take to become a mom, and each one is special and important, and sometimes full of romanticized ideas of what it will be like. A mother’s love starts before the children arrive.

  8. What sweet actions to help with what can be a bumpy transition. Sounds as though yours wasn’t. What blessed little girls they are to have you in their life. Likewise, what a blessing they must be to you. Prayers and blessings for the upcoming addition are coming your way, congratulations as well. #raralinkup

  9. This is such a sweet story Jen. I have never been in your shoes so I am glad that you walk us there with you. What a beautiful picture of a new step-moms journey to becoming mom. It has really given me a new perspective. Those little girls sound really special to you. They must be blessed with having a step-mom that actually wants to have them a part of her life. Thank you for sharing with us at Sitting Among Friends on Wednesdays. Have a great week.

  10. Congratulations on ALL your children! I’m thankful for people like you who are willing to tackle hard things. Children are both a challenge and a blessing, but make life worth living in a big way!

  11. Jen, this brings back memories of my own! My transition to step-parenting was a little different, as my soon to be step-daughter was 12 when we started dating, and 14 when we married. I will be honest, I have regrets about missed opportunities to bond with her because I was so worried about messing up! I realized I had to stop trying to define our relationship and simply enjoy the time we had together. I had to let her know how much I loved her so she would feel welcomed and secure. Now I have two step-grandbabies who I adore! God is so awesome. Blessings:)

  12. Aww, this is lovely. What a wonderful testimony of love and becoming the mom God intended you to be. You are exactly where He wants you and knowing that makes all the days brighter, doesn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

  13. I love your story and yes, we do mess up – BUT the positive times outweigh the mess up times. Your sweet girls are a blessing and your family is beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a True Story.

  14. I love how honest this is – all the hopes and dreams and yet a touch of reality thrown in there too – I think that is probably the best formula for making a blended family work – so nice to have found your blog and I joined your link up too 🙂

  15. Hi Jenny!

    So glad to hear that things are going so well for your new blended family. My family blended as well many years ago, and it was not pretty. Talk about hiccups! But God still gets the glory and Satan gets a black eye because 20 years later we are still together and stronger than ever – by God’s great grace!

    Blessings,
    Tiffiney
    WelcomeHomeMinistry.com

  16. My sister-in-law and my sister both became Step Moms before having children. It has been beautiful to see both of them take on this role and they are both outstanding Moms. How exciting for you all to be growing your family. Blessings to you all! Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂

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