Today, I’m thrilled to post our second live episode of Coffee Shop Conversations! My friends Etienne, Chatiela and I, are having a blast hanging out over coffee–and Mt Dew–enjoying each other’s company, and sharing about how we are growing our faith, practicing family leadership, and keeping our friendships strong. In this post Valentines Day episode, we dive into specific strategies to keep love strong, all year long.
How to Keep Love Strong
Initially, the three of us had planned to record this episode as a Valentines Day special. However, I woke up sick, and the show was postponed. The bright side is that this gave us the opportunity to explore simple strategies for keeping love strong.
Valentines Day is for celebrating love with grandiose gestures of affection. It’s a day for flowers, chocolates, heart-balloons, and fancy dinners. Love is worth celebrating, and setting aside one day a year for extraordinary festivities, is certainly warranted.
However, the down-side is that sometimes we–myself included– forget to make a big deal about love the other 364 days of the year. Valentines Day was never meant to be our primary day of love. [Tweet “Valentines Day is not a one time event, but a celebration of the loved shared throughout the year.”] Start preparing for your next Valentines Day celebration today, by making simple acts of love a routine habit in your home.
Simple Acts of Love
Love is patient…
- Love is closing that pesky drawer that your spouse leaves open–The one that you’ve banged your knee against… The one that you’ve asked her to keep closed a hundred times. Love is refusing to pick a fight, deciding not to nag, and simply closing the drawer yourself… Yes, love is patient
- Love is listening to your spouse attentively as she shares a favorite story… again. It’s not letter her know that you’ve heard this story before. It’s choosing to smile and laugh anyway. Love is patiently choosing to share in your spouse’s joy and she relives her favorite moments.
Love is kind…
- Love is greeting your spouse with a smile and a hug. It’s non-verbally telling him that he is a very important person in your world–every single day of the year.
- Love is putting your day on pause, and attentively listening to what she has to say. Love is being kind, again and again.
Patent and kind are the two words that 1 Corinthians 13, uses to define love. [Tweet “Simple acts of kindness, done day after day, are what keeps love strong.”]
Filling our Spouses Love-Bank
You and I have a love-bank. Every interaction with our significant other results in either a love-deposit or a love-withdrawal. In strong relationships, partners make regular deposits into each other’s love-banks. [Tweet “Small, frequent deposits of patience, kindness, attention, and friendship add up quickly.”]
Of course, love withdrawals happen too. They simple can’t be avoided. Unintended slights happen all of the time. As long as apologies are quick, and love deposits are regularly made, these minor withdraws rarely result in any long-term harm. So how do we keep the love deposits going, minimize withdrawals, and keep the love going 24/7? This is what the three of us dive into, in this episode!
What simple acts of love do you use to make regular deposits into your spouses love-bank? What love deposits keep your own love-bank filled? What would you add to this ongoing conversation on how to keep love strong? We look forward to continuing the conversation in the comments below.
- – It’s impossible to make regular deposits into the love-bank of our spouse and family, when we are running on empty ourselves. Happy people are able to give out of their own abundance. Fill yourself up, so that you can refresh those you love. You’ll find ten quick ideas to jump-start your own happiness, with my new e-booklet. It’s my gift to you, as a way of saying thank you for stopping by each week!
- 51 Creative Love-Bank Fillers – This post contains 51 simple ideas to help your keep love strong.
- His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage – This incredible book by Willard Harley, is where I first heard about the love-bank. It’s an excellent resource for couples who long to keep love strong, by making frequent love-bank deposits!
If you have additional love-bank filling tools that you would add to this list, please feel free to share them in the comments below. I’m always on the lookout for new resources and ideas!
P.S. You can find more excellent episodes by my gracious hosts at In the Author’s Corner!