beautifully imperfect family

Turn the Music Up: It’s Time To Celebrate Our Beautifully Imperfect Family!

If you have a beautifully imperfect family, you’re in the right place! My incredible husband recently wrote about why he chooses to be thankful for his crazy and chaotic past.  Divorce is a painful experience, and Jed wrote beautifully about the end of his relationship.  The trials he faced during his previous marriage, I cannot begin to comprehend.

I had the privilege of joining Jed’s story just over 3 years ago, and his writing got me thinking. Since joining his family and taking on the role of stepmom to his daughters, I have also joined Jed in moving forward through some challenging days.  As anyone in the midst of a high conflict co-parenting situation knows, the chaos doesn’t always end with the divorce. It can feel at times like you live in a world where you are continually under attack.  Every move you make is analyzed and criticized.  It’s a claustrophobic feeling, living under a microscope day in and day out.

Since we were married, Jed and I have been through several periods of time that were particularly hard.  Following our most recent round of conflicts, I came out feeling defeated, exhausted, and frankly done.  I have been experiencing step mommy burn out.

Our Imperfect Family Blessings

I love my husband’s post because it reminded me of everything we have to be so thankful for.  These things include:

  • Two beautiful stepdaughters and am lucky enough to be participating in their lives. 
  • I have a lively, energetic baby girl and another little one on the way. 
  • A husband I adore and admire who works incredibly hard to support our growing family.

The hard times my family experiences have cemented us together in a way that wouldn’t otherwise have been possible.  Jed and I learned quickly in our marriage to lean on each other and work together to weather the storms as they come.

Few couples face the challenges that blended families experience so early on in their marriage.  It can be easy to grow in resentment that you are put in these situations in the first place.  In the thick of the storm, it can be difficult to see how you can be moving in any positive direction.  However, I am reminded we always have a choice.  I cannot always control the situations my family finds ourselves in.  I can, however, control how I react to them.

Celebrating Our Beautifully Imperfect Family

Today I choose to be thankful for the many blessings.  I choose to be grateful for the incredible bond my beautiful daughters share. When my 18-month-old runs to the door shouting “sissies!!!!” and nearly knocks my stepdaughters over trying to hug their legs, my heart can’t be anything but full.

When unwanted input comes in the form of mean messages, I choose today to turn up my favorite dealing-with-stress song and sing at the top of my lungs, “if your lips are moving, it’s a lie, lie, lie!” I know it’s not all relevant to the step mommy experience, but come on.  I dare you to sing this, hairbrush microphone strongly recommended, and stay in a funk.  Music is magic!

Today I choose to turn the music up and celebrate this beautifully imperfect life! Will you join me?

Continue the Conversation

How do you celebrate in the midst of your family challenges? What do you do to pull yourself out of a funk? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!

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Jed Jurchenko

Jed Jurchenko is the husband to an incredible wife, daddy to four amazing girls, and a foster dad to one more. He's served as a children's pastor, marriage and family therapist, psychology professor, award-winning writing coach, and life coach. Jed is the author of 23 books on relationships, parenting, writing, and doing life well. In his free time, you'll find Jed reading, preparing for an upcoming marathon, barbecuing, paddle boarding, and enjoying life with his incredible family. Find out more about Jed's books, coaching, and courses at www.ithrive320.com.

22 thoughts on “Turn the Music Up: It’s Time To Celebrate Our Beautifully Imperfect Family!”

  1. Hey Jen,
    I love to turn the music up! Sometimes we crank it up in our house or in our car! Sure does make everything seem better!
    Thanks for the reminder to celebrate no matter what is going on!
    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

  2. I have learned it’s best to focus on the ways I can honor God when things aren’t going well, rather than focus on behaviors etc. that I don’t like in someone else.

  3. Whenever I take the time to push “pause” on a current situation, and thank God for what he has given me, not only does he give me a new perspective, but I’m filled with strength to continue. I love the whole song idea…I love to do that too and I found myself smiling while reading this 🙂 !!!! Thanks for sharing!

  4. What an incredible attitude to have! It’s easy to fall into those funks and feel sorry for oneself. I personally have never experienced anything like that, but my parents have so I can understand.
    Thank you so much for showing living out a Christ-like attitude instead of letting those difficult times pull you under.
    God bless you! 🙂
    ~Haley

  5. “Microphone hairbrush”… I’ve used those many times as a microphone. That and brooms, ladles, or bottle brushes also. Music seems to be the best way to get our family through difficult moments although our kids rarely even know we are going through them when we are. They usually don’t find out anything was amiss until it is already over. When we’re having a bad day music or just getting out of the house usually helps.

    Enjoyed this post. I’m visiting from #AskGodToday’s Warm Hearted Wednesday Link up. Thanks for sharing with us.

  6. Though we don’t have a blended family, we, as a married couple, have faced our share of challenges over the years. However, we have discovered an incredible truth: When we look to God during trials (or joys, too!) He is always faithful! He will show us the way when we are fully submitted to Him. We’ve had some ups and downs…but the downs have turned into ups…and that is because we both are fully dependent on Him. I love what Ruth Graham said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” When we look to Jesus as our example, we can’t go wrong!

    34 years and counting – Joan 🙂

  7. So real! Incredible how you two touch families. I know turning up the music is a great way to find the positive in negative situations. Hard to do at times, I must admit, but a great reminder to doing so can fill our spirits with joy. Celebrating an imperfect life, is an awesome attitude. We all have imperfect lives. Even more of a reason to celebrate Christ in the midst of it.

  8. What a sweet post. Congrats on your little one on the way. Prayers for y’all as you continue to navigate the blended family terrain. Blessed to be your linkup buddy at Faith Filled Friday today. ((blessings))

  9. I love this story, Jen. I am sure that you are often in tough positions and I am glad to hear that you are attempting to handle them with grace. That is oh so often hard to do. I love singing with my little girl in our microbrushphone. You have a wonderful week and I hope you are feeling well.

  10. This is such a great reminder that we need to be thankful for the good in our families. My family is not a blended family but we hav eour own set of challenges. I am so grateful to have both my husband and my family of origin )husband and I don’t h ave children) though. It is wonderfult o see both of you appreciate each other.

  11. Music, music and music! Affirming, lyrical messages of acceptance and comfort. I am never alone. He hears every slight. He knows how hard I try. He love me just the way I am; forgiven!!

    And, I write out my prayers and remember His love to me in writing.

  12. My parents are divorced and I understand the conflicts in this. It is wonderful that you looked at the blessings. Divorce is never easy. Not for either spouse, and especially not on the children. It is awesome your children have the both of you and your dedication and love for them. Blessings and prayers to you all. Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂

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