If you have a beautifully imperfect family, you’re in the right place! My incredible husband recently wrote about why he chooses to be thankful for his crazy and chaotic past. Divorce is a painful experience, and Jed wrote beautifully about the end of his relationship. The trials he faced during his previous marriage, I cannot begin to comprehend.
I had the privilege of joining Jed’s story just over 3 years ago, and his writing got me thinking. Since joining his family and taking on the role of stepmom to his daughters, I have also joined Jed in moving forward through some challenging days. As anyone in the midst of a high conflict co-parenting situation knows, the chaos doesn’t always end with the divorce. It can feel at times like you live in a world where you are continually under attack. Every move you make is analyzed and criticized. It’s a claustrophobic feeling, living under a microscope day in and day out.
Since we were married, Jed and I have been through several periods of time that were particularly hard. Following our most recent round of conflicts, I came out feeling defeated, exhausted, and frankly done. I have been experiencing step mommy burn out.
Our Imperfect Family Blessings
I love my husband’s post because it reminded me of everything we have to be so thankful for. These things include:
- Two beautiful stepdaughters and am lucky enough to be participating in their lives.
- I have a lively, energetic baby girl and another little one on the way.
- A husband I adore and admire who works incredibly hard to support our growing family.
The hard times my family experiences have cemented us together in a way that wouldn’t otherwise have been possible. Jed and I learned quickly in our marriage to lean on each other and work together to weather the storms as they come.
Few couples face the challenges that blended families experience so early on in their marriage. It can be easy to grow in resentment that you are put in these situations in the first place. In the thick of the storm, it can be difficult to see how you can be moving in any positive direction. However, I am reminded we always have a choice. I cannot always control the situations my family finds ourselves in. I can, however, control how I react to them.
Celebrating Our Beautifully Imperfect Family
Today I choose to be thankful for the many blessings. I choose to be grateful for the incredible bond my beautiful daughters share. When my 18-month-old runs to the door shouting “sissies!!!!” and nearly knocks my stepdaughters over trying to hug their legs, my heart can’t be anything but full.
When unwanted input comes in the form of mean messages, I choose today to turn up my favorite dealing-with-stress song and sing at the top of my lungs, “if your lips are moving, it’s a lie, lie, lie!” I know it’s not all relevant to the step mommy experience, but come on. I dare you to sing this, hairbrush microphone strongly recommended, and stay in a funk. Music is magic!
Today I choose to turn the music up and celebrate this beautifully imperfect life! Will you join me?
Continue the Conversation
How do you celebrate in the midst of your family challenges? What do you do to pull yourself out of a funk? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!